FAIR AND BALANCED

now that faye's wearing bearmonster again...

2011-03-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

i'm concerned that this is the last time i remember wearing mine.

Ashley. Just put your heels together. Not that hard.

2011-03-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

Ashley. If you come to class crunk one more time, I'm failing you.

sarah palin's shoes.

2011-02-21T19:05:00.001-08:00

that's all.

Aim high.

2011-01-22T19:54:00.001-08:00

I can't believe how uncontrollably I laugh each time I watch this.

GO TO THIS LINK.

goodnite nora? check this.

2011-01-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

raspberry dazzler. (this can be my new nickname if you want)

2010-12-24T09:12:00.000-08:00

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

IT'S! SO! LITERAL!

2010-09-26T07:57:00.001-07:00

too bad the sweater was ugly

2010-09-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

but i still feel obligated to buy it.

2010-09-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Oops, found a video of an alternate reality where Matt didn't leave the south:

hahahahahahahaha

dang.

2010-09-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've been coming across this problem lately where I hate 80% of my shoes and I want to throw them all away. While pondering what shoes I would like to wear, stilettos have popped into my head because they are pretty classic. However, I am unable to wear them :(

I came across these beauties on Amazon and clearly they were made for me. Traction & stiletto! A match made in heaven.

nora, don't let him do it.

2010-09-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

i'm kind of surprised you didn't do this at your store.

2010-09-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

er

2010-08-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

really? true love because they both think africa is the best toto song? is there even any other toto song?

2010-08-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

UGH When will you get back from Germany GOSH!!!!! Okay I know it's on my anniversary but I still feel that you should be back by now. I miss you!

This movie looks rad and I want to see it in HD.

mmhmm

2010-08-02T18:45:00.001-07:00

Guess who is number 3 in line at the library to get this lil gem on CD?

AND GUESS WHO IS GOING TO GO IN TO WORK EACH MORNING READY TO ROCK!!?!????

itsa me.

More like

2010-07-26T09:42:00.001-07:00

My clothing and expression when aforementioned behavior is expressed.

and this is my reaction when someone poops near me.

2010-07-26T09:15:00.001-07:00

This is how I react after an audible bathroom experience

2010-07-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

Click for more magic to enter your life.

OH. MY. GOD.

2010-07-20T13:32:00.001-07:00

this is my work day.

my favorite LATFH evarrr

2010-07-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

bahahahah

BLIND PUPPY ABANDONED?!??!

2010-06-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

i didn't read the story (here), but i should, cause it involves a VIDEO. of a BLIND PUPPY.

MAJOR LULZ

2010-06-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

until it's not.

My grandparents!

2010-06-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Super fair and balanced cute pic of my grandparents.

Is that a bit risque?

So Beautiful!

2010-05-24T03:46:00.000-07:00

So, I will admit that I still sneak over to wedding blogs from time to time. It's a hard habit to kick. I saw this one on the Bliss Event Group site and was just totally blow away. To be honest, the entire photo series blew me away. Go check it out. The Indian wedding porn is off the chains.

Yes Please.

2010-05-23T07:58:00.001-07:00

Little Miss NORA

2010-05-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

I'm glad you were finally tracked down by our German task force. Do you have internetz at Matt's? I hope you brought your laptop and can go to Ipunkt on the Hauptstrasse to chat with me every day. Waiting to hear about your first days in Germany is KILLING MEEEEE.

Anyway, I found these boots and I'm lusting so bad because I think they would make me feel like it's my junior year of high school again. Should I get them or will people make fun of me even more than usual? DO TELL.

lololololol

2010-05-05T09:54:00.001-07:00

2010-05-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

did you know that when i'm on a computer that isn't mine and want to check F&B but can never remember the URL, i just google "kitten overload"?

mm mm mmm...

2010-05-02T14:13:00.001-07:00

i can't wait to move to ann arbor.

errr...

2010-05-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

i don't get it. couldn't it end with marigold returning his book and faye and dora saying 'oh that's weird that you bumped into him'?
is that not 'well'?

ohhhh ru....

2010-04-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

nagl.

for your protection

2010-04-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

study it well.

i'd say this is pretty accurate.

2010-04-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

2010-04-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

Makes me feel better.

more lulz sorryyy.

2010-04-08T03:27:00.000-07:00

first:

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

second:

remember when i was at a party at the valley and got three dudes to make out with each other? i made a lot of girls happy that night.

♥

2010-04-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

2010-03-30T04:39:00.001-07:00

I gotta be honest, i almost wrote "whoa, boob, awesome" on yer fb wall this morning. then i remembered that you're friends with every member of yours and joe's family and that might look questionable. so i'll say it here, instead.

whoa, boob, awesome.

I Don't Think You Understand.

2010-03-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever done yoga in a miniskirt? Like the boyfriend skirt, this gem is taking a trend too far. Go ahead and do yoga in your long, flowing bohemian skirt, but leave the miniskirts to people who get paid to show it off. Damn.

Rest in Peace

2010-03-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

I suppose Rodarte will be my new favorite eye candy now that there will be no more Alexander McQueen. :( :( :(

that FACE!

2010-03-18T09:05:00.001-07:00

i'm just doing this because i think f&b is being neglected.

2010-03-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

this is the second time i've seen something about this watermelon beer magic. i think i needs it. nows.

What kinds of dudes do you date?

2010-02-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

I'm all about casual, comfortable clothing and I can often be found in American Eagle "boyfriend fit" jeans. The idea behind it, to me, is that you are slipping into something akin to his white undershirt with a manly musk directly after a toe-curling hour in bed.

This sartorial gem is exactly what I do not want to borrow from my boyfriend (ok, husband) and dream of his masculine energies:

This is a skirt for heaven's sake! What on earth are you smoking!? You are taking the "boyfriend fit = casual" description way too fucking far! NO. NO. AND NO!

...say what?

2010-01-29T15:58:00.000-08:00

is this real life?

2010-01-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

Fine, ok.

It's 61 degrees and sunny in Virginia today so I guess I might as well go hot air ballooning. By the by, did you ever know that Shea's dad OWNZ a hot air balloon? SRSLY why did we never bother her about this??

Latin Fever.

2010-01-21T04:38:00.000-08:00

My favorite songs often carry a similar theme - love for all things spicy and south of the border, especially teh menz. Evidence:

"Fernando" by Abba.

"Alejandro" by Lady Gaga

Hilariously, Lady Gaga has a French/Russian/totally-fucked accent at the beginning of the track and then tries to speak in Spanish a lil bit throughout the song. Fave lyrics: "You know that I love you boy. / Hot like Mexico, rejoice." Rejoice? Has she transformed into the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? One mistake, Lady. That's all I give you.

As for Abba, their grave mistake was to wear those hideous frocks.

please don't judge me.

2010-01-20T15:51:00.000-08:00

i've listened to this song 10 times in two days.

i like this one, too.

emergency!

2010-01-14T04:39:00.000-08:00

IMPORTANT JONAS BROS NEWSFLASH!

I was watching VH1 this morning whilst eating breakfast and a Jonas Brothers video came on. I saw one of them and there I sat, rapt in pleasure. Then! Out of nowhere came the credits in the lower left corner. I read it, quivering in delight, expecting the Jonas Bros names to appear with a halo above it. Yet, hark! There is a side project! The video featured only one Jonas bro! WTFH!? New band name: Nick Jonas and the Administration? REALLY?!

Yes, really. And from preliminary research, I have learned that he is using the band most famous for backing Prince. THE Prince. All I know is that his music sounds like an unlucky mix betwixt the bros and George Michael. *le sigh.*

gaga fashion.

2010-01-10T20:17:00.000-08:00

i wouldn't know what to do with them, but i want to look at them all day.

Also...

2010-01-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

What are some good magazines? I realized I only have one subscription and it was free. It's some Martha Stewart food magazine that I secretly adore. I'm thinking about Spin, Newsweek, Nylon, or Readymade. I suppose I need to make a trip to Borders to inspire my magazine needs.

Note: ARE THESE HIPSTER OR FAIR AND BALANCED?

Next trip...

2010-01-06T09:46:00.001-08:00

Let's go to India and ride elephants.

bandicoot tossing

2009-12-31T08:23:00.000-08:00

Randy has been tossed.

uhhhhnimals.

2009-12-21T17:43:00.000-08:00

now this looks like a party i'd be into.

2009-12-11T15:03:00.000-08:00

i would, of course, be the slut.

Snuggie Fail

2009-12-10T10:13:00.001-08:00

My sister is usually freezing for the most part, so I thought it would be sort of hilarious to get her a snuggie...

Lo and behold, I find THIS on the Target website:

facebook just gets me.

2009-12-07T15:34:00.000-08:00

Awaiting backlash

2009-12-06T08:35:00.001-08:00

I just got a boner when I saw this closet.

well.

2009-12-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

Remember when I had this song as my ringtone for 2 years? Well, I do. And I wish I had it again instead of the pre-loaded rip-off of Sexy Back that I chose since it was free. I think this might be enjoyable to the purveyors of this blog because it combines large stringed instruments and rad music. Please enjoy:

zomg.

2009-11-30T17:00:00.001-08:00

Don't Watch if You Are Already Depressed:

2009-11-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

So my girl Sarah Palin, Totally Fair and Balanced, "wrote" a book about her tragically failed life and signed books for anyone who she could bribe (with a teddy bear, it seems) to attend her party at Borders.

best character:

Please note:
1. midwestern dyed blonde soccer mom hair
2. a wayward sister of the bangs we love
3. a turtleneck (should the embroidery on the turtleneck get its own number?)
4. a sweater with embroidered appliques on it
5. a bejeweled (studded??) shoulder pad
6. a scrunchy or large bow in her (see #7)
7. half ponytail
8. must I mention the bear with a shirt and, presumably, a bandana?
9. firm grasp on "GOING ROGUE: THE SAD PALIN STORY"

*sigh*

2009-11-18T16:28:00.000-08:00

This pretty much sums up my relationship with my mom.

2009-11-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

I could lie and tell you I wonder what the back story is here, but I don't. I prefer to believe that this is all 100% spontaneous.

2009-11-07T11:30:00.001-08:00

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article6876557.ece?slideshowPopup=true&articleId=6876557&nSlide=1&sectionName=Men

thats all.

why does this seem really inappropriate?

2009-11-01T16:06:00.001-08:00

maybe because it involves winning an oven. i duno.

kitten overload.

2009-10-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

this might be more important than everything else thats happened this week.
i caught RONI and THE DEUCE.

TOGETHER.

uhhhhhhhhhh

2009-10-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

mom got a kitten.

why yes, facebook, i do.

2009-10-22T15:06:00.001-07:00

2009-10-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Why does the internets want to make me poor!?! In other news, have you been reading Nedroid Picture Diaries? Please make sure you do so, daily.

CUTEST HUZZBAND WITH PUPPY

2009-10-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

HEATHER!

2009-10-13T16:30:00.001-07:00

i can totally see you wearing this.

why do i find this so amazing?

2009-10-10T10:02:00.001-07:00

this might be too gross/anti-PETA to put on facebook. i need the approval of fair and balanced first.

dead fly art?!

i find you very attractive...

2009-10-01T20:22:00.001-07:00

i don't know whats happening here, or why its happening, but i love it, and want it to be happening all the time.

also, this is my new theme song for every one i meet. ever.

2009-09-28T04:57:00.000-07:00

To celebrate our landmark victory of 100 posts, I would like to share my new career with our thousands of screaming fans. I am going to be a fire dancer. I have chosen my first song to use:

srsly?

2009-09-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

please get a pug and then find a small child to sleep next to it.

2009-09-25T18:16:00.001-07:00

what do people do on friday night?

i is hatez the suburbz.

ugh

2009-09-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

photo booth isn't the best for taking adorable pictures, especially when it involves hanging a computer above an animal

BUT SHES SLEEPING ON MY LEGS! ON HER BACK!

and she tooted as i was taking the picture.

Aw Shucks.

2009-09-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Maybe he should've just planted traps for burglars like I do.

Or, maybe this is an opportunity for an addition to the Kitty Wigs product mix: Glow in the Dark Kitty Wigs?!?! It could save a life.

really, fox?

2009-09-21T04:49:00.000-07:00

try coming up with something more original next time.

and more true.

An excellent way to wake up on a Sunday morning.

2009-09-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

loooooove.

Conflicted

2009-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

It's Rosh Hashanah and Talk Like a Pirate Day. What to do, what to do...

So what if I want a cat so I can buy kitty wigs. SO WHAT!?!?

2009-09-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

Available now for your ordering pleasure.

oh.my.god.

2009-08-08T11:38:00.000-07:00

A MIDGET PONY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

dear heather,

2009-07-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

if you don't do this at your wedding, we are no longer friends.

love, nora.

the only guest panels i enjoy.

2009-07-22T16:35:00.003-07:00

!

2009-07-19T08:55:00.001-07:00

thank god hot topic exists.

2009-07-13T01:03:00.000-07:00

I want this to happen in my life.

2009-06-23T07:08:00.001-07:00

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

2009-06-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

http://jezebel.com/5299537/tim-burtons-alice-in-wonderland-already-freaking-us-out

2009-06-19T21:26:00.001-07:00

Chronicles of (not my) pug ownership:

smile pretty, baby pug.

blow out your birthday candles on your sprinkle-laden puppy treat!

NOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

My friend's dad gave her mom the most Fair and Balanced birthday gift I've ever heard of...

Seriously. Papa Hupfer gave Mama Hupfer a fat pony. This makes me love life.

2009-06-18T20:56:00.001-07:00

i have nothing to say about this video. just watch it.

Nora can relate.

2009-06-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

I found this through: http://trinknitty.blogspot.com

2009-05-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes advertising tries to lead you down a dangerous path:

A very dangerous one indeed.

2009-05-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

Boys have my permission to say whatever they want when they wear tiny clothes with their booty cleavage showing and dance about in rollerskates. I feel that the participants of this blog would agree.

Here, I bless you with The Doo Doo Stains with "Platinum":

2009-05-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

Who am I kidding when I say I have a life outside of Youtube?

Amazing.

2009-05-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

I should probably be doing any number of things to prepare for my wedding, graduation, and internship, but instead I found this on wonkette.com:

I got the lolz.

Bridesmaid Dresses!

2009-05-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, these would be in navy blue with a fuschia sash. Do we like strapless? sweetheart neck + strapless? little straps?

2009-05-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

There's not much in the way of plot in this video but it has some pretty amazing one-liners. Also, I think those little scarves tucked into men's shirts should come back into style.

"What a lovely cappuccino. Ooh, Thanks Vanessa!
I hope your dirty Brooklyn hands don't muck up my French pressa"

this bitch can WERK.

2009-05-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

i dont know how to make it smaller.

Thoughts.

2009-04-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

-Why is it snowing at SMIF college? The weather just turned warm in Michigan so shouldn't it be warming up wherever the fuck SMIF is? I mean I like sledding as much as the next Michigander but it is just not consistent with the seasons.

-As for Wil (correct?)'s offer, I don't see what the harm could be in Sven getting hit mysteriously by a guy he doesn't know. I want to see this story arch!

-I wonder what it would take for me to get an freshman to be my intern for the summer.

2009-04-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

This video illustrates an amazing night wherein men breathed fire, ladies danced upon tabletops, and all were encouraged to drum on any surface necessary to make noise. Alcohol flowed like the seas.

I pretended to fumble with the camera so that I could record this for my dear sweet Nora. How awkward of me.